The Hitchhiker's Guide to Hetalia!
by SourLemon101
Summary: Arthur Kirkland. The last human being left in existence. Appart from Michelle of course, who took of with Francis, the president of the galaxy, a little while before the Vogons destroyed the Earth. Alfred helped Arthur escape the destruction of the Earth. Now, I may have pointed out the Earth was destroyed, but that's a minor detail to the story about to unfold...


The Hitchhiker's Guide to Hetalia

Prologue

_Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun._

_Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape- descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. This planet has or rather had a problem, which was this: most of the people on it were unhappy for pretty much of the solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy._

_And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches._

_Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans. And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, one girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything._

_Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terribly stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever._

_This is not her story._

_But it is the story of that terrible stupid catastrophe and some of its consequences._

_It is also the story of a book, a book called The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy not an Earth book, never published on Earth, and until the terrible catastrophe occurred, never seen or heard of by any Earthman._

_Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book._

_In fact it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing houses of Ursa Minor of which no Earthman had ever heard either._

_Not only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one more popular than_ The Celestial Home Care Omnibus, _better selling than_ Fifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity, _and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters _Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes _and_ Who is this God Person Anyway?

_In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy,_ The Hitch Hiker's Guide _has already supplanted the great_ Encyclopedia Galactica _as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects._

_First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words_ DON'T PANIC _inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover._

_But the story of this terrible, stupid Thursday, the story of its extraordinary consequences, and the story of how these consequences are inextricably intertwined with this remarkable book begins very simply._

_It begins with a house._

* * *

**MWAHAHAHAHA! HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY IS THE BEST BOOK THAT EVER LIVED AND DESERVES TO BE INTRODUCED TO HETALIA! Anyway, rant aside; I hope you enjoy this amazing story! If you can't read the actual book, or would rather read it Hetalia style, then this is the place. Please, I ask you take a moment of respect to Douglas Adams, who is in my opinion, the cleverest writer who ever lived, and I ask you to support him and read his works even in his deceased years….**

**I miss you Douglas ;_;**

**Also, this fanfiction WILL BE DIFFERENT FROM THE ORIGINAL BOOK! I have many ideas and editing the plot is going to take a veeeeery long time for me, so please be patient! I can't wait to see how this turns out…**

**I also hope I'm the first to come up with this… I think I am 0.0 Hehe, I'm only on the third book, but oh well, I love it so much I'm just going ahead with it! Thank you for reading and reviews would be lovely, although you don't have to ;)  
**


End file.
